1. Stop talking about what you don’t want

When you focus on what you don’t want you attract more of those things, aka, people and circumstances. Have you ever noticed that when you talk about negative things they seem to just keep happening?

For example, you say something similar to the dialogue below and then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

• I hate my drive to work. I always get stuck in traffic and many times end up being late. And then you DO get stuck in traffic. 
• I don’t want to date another jerk. And you end up dating another jerk. 
• It’s so hard for me to lose weight. And you just can’t seem to take off any weight or you do, and then put it right back on again. 
• I don’t want to lose my job or get fired. And then your boss brings you into his office and tells you they are downsizing and lets you go. 
• I don’t want more drama in my life. And time and time again you are right in the middle of more drama. 
• I’m broke and don’t have enough money. And your bank account is overdrawn and you can barely make ends meet. 
• I’m a total mess. I can never find anything. And you are constantly searching for your belongings. 

Words are powerful. What you speak, you actually are declaring in your life and becomes reinforced in your belief system in a cycle that perpetuates in your life.

So what can you do instead? Focus on what you DO want…Instead of saying the above change your languaging to something like…

• I enjoy my drive time and for the most part plan well so that I always arrive on time.  (focus on what you can do while you are driving to keep your mindset positive during your drive like listening to a podcast, or audio book)
• There are good men out there and I believe I will meet one of them. In the meantime I am going to do the things I enjoy most in life and enjoy each day.
• I am going to get my body fit and tone and along the way I am going to be patient and kind to myself.
• I can’t control what happens in my outer environment but I can control my thoughts. I am going to focus on appreciation of my job and give thanks for my employment everyday.
• I get to choose what I focus on and whenever I notice drama creeping into my life, I pause, and change my perspective by asking myself two questions; 1.) What am I suppose to learn right now? 2.) How can I bring more peace into my life?
• I am enough. I am good enough. I am deserving. I am worthy. I am whole. I am complete. Abundance is my birthright.
• I am going to get organized. I am going to take small steps everyday to organize my life in some way.

 

2. Stop saying “I don’t have enough time”

Everyone has the same 24 hours, 1440 minutes in the day yet some people seem to do so much more with their allotment. Truth be told what matters most is how you allocate your time…It boils down to not wasting time.

Here are a few things to ponder…

• If you stopped watching TV for an hour a day, you would gain 7 hours a week for something more meaningful.
• If you woke up an hour earlier every morning you would gain 7 hours a week for exercising, getting organized or getting your first “to do” item done.
• When timelines and deadlines are in place you will find that you are able to block out distractions more effectively to meet them.
• Using a time management system makes a big difference. For example, planning the week on Sunday and reviewing your plan makes your use of time much more efficient.

Time is the most valuable asset you have. If your why is big enough you will always figure out a way to have enough time.

3. Stop spending time with the wrong people

Life is too precious to spend it with negative minded people that suck the energy out of you. I’m not saying you have to drop friends like a hot potato but what I am saying to you is you are worthy of being with people that uplift, inspire and help make you feel better about yourself, not worse.

Here is how to know you are hanging out with the “right people”

• They don’t talk or gossip about other people
• They Inspire you to be better and do better
• They are loyal and you can trust them
• You can count on them during the tough times
• They can call you out on your own sh*t

When it comes to life, we are greatly influenced by other people . Motivational speaker, Jim Rohn summed it up really well with his famous saying;  “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

4. Stop procrastinating and putting off the things you want most in life

The number #1 regret expressed at the time of death is “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not what others expected of me.”

When people realize that their life is almost over and look back, it’s easy to see how many of their dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people don’t accomplish even 50% of their dreams because they put them off…

Where do you start?

• First and foremost make a decision. We are on the cusp of a new year and NEW DECADE. You can decide that you are going to be proactive creating it by saying no to procrastination and yes to creating and living your best life.
• Map out dream time. We spend most of our day to day life “doing life” vs “designing it.”  I’m super passionate about this and because of it I host a one day “Create Your Best Life’ at the beginning of every year. It’s a dedicated 8 hour day to future script your life by design.
• Begin with a single day. Lean in by putting pen to paper and figure out what small daily tasks you put off and start there.

 

5.  Stop looking for someone or something outside of yourself to come along in life and save the day.

Everything you need already exists inside of you. It’s up to you to uncover it. It’s not that you do it alone. Someone else can help guide you toward your own truth but ultimately, you are your own hero.

It’s a matter of perspective. Once you make the shift and realize the gold is inside of you, then you go on your own treasure hunt. It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion. You discover your thinking shapes your attitude and your attitude shapes your communication (words, tone, body language), and your communication shapes your relationships, and your relationships shape your outcomes and your outcomes become your reality. And it begins with your thoughts. And you can control your them.

6.  Stop criticizing yourself

We can be our own worse critic. If we put a tape recorder in our mind and heard what we said to ourselves we would de-friend and block ourselves in an instant.

We say things like:

• I am an idiot.
• I am bad at ________________________ (and we make up this incredibly negative story of how we suck at something)
• I am a failure.
• I don’t deserve to have ________________ (and we fill in the blank with all sorts of negative remarks)
• No one likes me because I am not likable, lovable, or worthy.
• I really screwed up.

And we speak it in a condescending, harsh tone to boot. We literally would walk straight out the door if we heard ourselves. Growing awareness by paying close attention to our inner dialogue is how we begin to shift from negative mind to a positive one and become our own best friend and ally.

What you can do:

Use this very short, yet powerful phrase to uplift yourself by saying:

• I am smart
• I am getting better everyday at _________________  (create a new narrative)
• I am a winner
• I deserve to have ______________________ (and fill in a want or positive desire)
• I like myself. I am lovable. I am worthy.
• I am a work in progress and it’s okay if I make mistakes because that is how I learn to get better.