Have you ever felt like your own worst enemy, as if you can’t stop yourself from doing something or not doing something that will hurt you in the long run?

Unfortunately, most of us do. Why would we purposely self sabotage? First, we have to bring a greater sense of awareness around it and how it works.

What is Self-Sabotage?

“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.”

Chances are you don’t even realize you do this. Here are a few examples of how self-sabotage shows up: you procrastinate and put off important tasks, when you bail out of a relationship after you start to fall in love or you numb your feelings with TV, alcohol, shopping or drugs.

The problem is we usually blame our life circumstances vs taking full accountability for the results we experience in our lives. We look outside ourselves vs going within to examine our patterns of behaviors, beliefs and our thoughts.

Related Video: How to Rewire Your Identity 

Why Do We Self-Sabotage?

Here are the main reasons why we end up blocking our next level success:

1.) Self Worth – You don’t feel deserving. Many thought leaders talk about “set points.” What that means is that everyone has a baseline Set Point on how much love, money, health and overall success they will allow themselves to experience. Once they reach their outer limit they will self-sabotage to stay within their pre-set range of deservedness.

2.) Staying In a Comfort Zone – To achieve something new in your life you have to go outside your comfort zone. Success brings change and change is super uncomfortable. Most people fear change, when fear arrises, people self-sabotage and bail.

3.) Outshining Others – You don’t want to step into the spotlight and make others feel uncomfortable. People dim their own light because they don’t want to jump ahead of the other people in their lives.

You can read more: How to Stop Self Self- Sabotage

How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself?

First, by noticing and becoming more self aware. That means when you should be writing that important email or making that phone call and you suddenly get this uncontrollable urge to check your IG feed and you can’t stop yourself. “Don’t judge, just notice.”

Once you begin to grow your awareness you can make new choices. Making new decisions from time to time feels empowering. Give yourself a pat on the back and acknowledge your effort and progress. Then commit to do it more often because you are (fill in the blank – worthy, deserving, a good person, etc).

It’s also helpful to get it out of your head on and down on paper. Write out your commitments and journal about it.  Something powerful happens when you can look at a piece of paper with your notes that can give you a new perspective.

Enlist the help of a friend, mentor, coach, teacher, family member. People really do want to help you if you let them. Not getting help is a form of self sabotage, big time. When you have good support by your side you become unstoppable.

Related Post: Mentoring and Transformation

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