Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work
There is a lot of talk about the power of positive thinking. Law of Attraction meet up groups are everywhere. Think positive and positive things will happen is the main premise. So why, so often, doesn’t the positive thinking theory work?
To begin with, I agree, thinking positive thoughts are helpful but they are NOT the end all, be all. It’s just part of the larger story. I have been talking about this for years. It can be misleading- and frustrating not to mention it can keep you overweight, broke, and looking for love in all of the wrong places.
So, I was delighted to come across the search based teaching of Gabrielle Oettingen via an email from Brian Johnson.
Oettingen, is a psychology professor at New York University and the University of Hamburg and she, like me, is a skeptic.
Oettingen spent more than 20 years testing her theory that positive thinking ALONE doesn’t really work.
And I’m not surprised at all that the research confirmed she was right. The positive vibers and dreamers often just have their head up in a cloud without producing the desired results.
Here’s why. You have to factor in the REAL LIFE challenges. If you only focus on the outcome without considering a few set backs that might occur along the way, once a problem occurs – you are toast.
You aren’t mentally prepared. You crash. You burn. I have personally seen this over and over again.
In Oettingen’s new book, Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation she discusses a more realistic way of visualizing the future which I believe is spot on.
In my coaching practice I have clients actually visualize the worse case scenario so that they can adapt to the fear ahead of time. If it were to happen they would be less likely to have a total melt down. It’s all muscle memory. Doing an exercise like this builds up your courage and resilience muscle. It helps you rehearse when the stakes are lower and your less vulnerable.
Gabrielle calls her method “mental contrasting.” And she created an easy to remember acronym called WOOP. (love it).
W- Wish
O- Outcome
O-Obstacles
P- Plan
Wish- You are instructed to dream your dream.
Outcome- You are asked to get really clear about your desired result.
Obstacles- You are then asked to visualize the barriers that might prevent you from achieving them. Make a mental note. Jot them down.
Plan- Lastly, you mentally rehearse overcoming possible challenges with a written plan in hand noting each action step that you may need to implement.
So think “WOOP” and bravely factor in your “what ifs, ” darling. I want you to be mentally strong as you create your AMAZING life.
Oh, and I would LOVE to see in the comments below if this video and Oettingen’s method resonated with you.
To Flourishing Your Life,
Wendi
I love this post Wendi. I love that you include this kind of authenticity in your coaching approach.
You are the real deal my friend.
Lisa,
I believe it is so important to walk the walk and talk the talk. Authenticity is the cornerstone to coaching. We can teach what we have experienced and know to be true from a place of trust, truth and certainty. XO, Wendi
I love this post ! What a great read. You have been such a helpful influence on my growing company but also have benefited me personally. This is an amazing perspective because I often burden myself with the pressure to have a positive attitude and I really connect with a more realistic approach! Thanks for sharing!
Julie,
I have loved working with you. You bring so much value to your clients with your extensive knowledge on nutrition and most importantly, how much you truly care about their health and wellbeing. Thank you for all that you do, Wendi
I believe positive thinking like goal setting is part of the plan. Positive thinking is like the icing on the cake. There are many layers that go into creating and implementing any change.
As a double lung transplant recipient due to Cystic Fibrosis, living my life since my childhood as you can imagine, there were many ups and downs. Looking back, fortunately, I had the keen insight to keep positive as the background setting while preparing for my future, I had the focus on taking the best care of myself by finding new treatments and creative avenues to keep as healthy as I possible could by extending my own life.
Wendi your support for me and my evolution are priceless! I love this particularly as we all need to show how we are on a journey of facing our shadiez! Thank you for this!
Stacey,
Thank you. Your work is priceless as well. Women need the support as they go through transition and you provide that vehicle for them to become reconnected to their bodies and sensuality.
Reply
Reconnect with bodies and sensuality that’s what I want to do
Love this!
Thanks for sharing Wendi!
I am going to apply this immediately and report back here on the results 🙂
Woop! Woop!
Gina,
You are so welcome. Being realistic and mapping out results based on external circumstances is key to success. To Flourishing, Wendi
Awesome info, Wendi. Great tip about visualizing the worse case scenario ahead of time. It makes it easier to get over the fear and start taking action every day. Thanks for all you do to help so many people get amazing results in their business and life.
This message is coming to me at a perfect time. I have been faced with many obstacles recently and fell into the crash/burn/toast mode. Thanks for sharing this great information and I am going to apply to my flourishing practice! xx
I love the concept! It’s brilliant! I’ve been doing my flourish every morning, writing words of affirmation and worthiness, but I know I need more structure. Your help has been amazing and now I have a commitment with myself. I will go over these four words and start working on them. Thank you again for being part of my journey! XOXO